On Sun, 3 Feb 2008 04:04:53 -0800 (PST), Carl Dau
Post by Carl DauI'm a big fan of the Spanish Inquisition and I'd like to
organize a D&D Inquisition, where I'd be the grande
inquisitor and we'd burn sinners at the stake.
Sinners are those who do not believe in the right god, if
they do not accept the right god, they'll be tortured and
then burned at the stake.
Torture is wrong. You only cause pain to convince people to see the
error of their ways. If they convert, then they go free. They only
go to the fire if they are unrepentant heathens who refuse to accept
the One True Way.
Or if they're caught practicing their heathen beliefs after *swearing*
that they'd be good followers.
Post by Carl DauHow could I organize a Spanish Inquisition in the D&D world???
I suppose humans are the best grand inquisitors and all
the other races plus humans are good victims.
What do you think???
My campaign has the Spanish Inquisition running, hot and happy. The
PCs, however, do *not* run it. Run afoul of it, yes.
Spain is currently under the control of the Inquisition. They are
followers of the Risen Christos, but... not accurately.
None of the inquisitors can cast spells above Level 2. They have
interpreted this as meaning that they are insufficiently devout in
their spreading of their beliefs.
There are priests of the Risen Christos who can cast spells above L2.
The inquisitors consider them apostates, who are actually getting
their powers from devils and the like. If the inquisitors catch them,
they get burnt at the stake.
Those who publicly show that they follow other religions are forced to
convert. Due to the large Jewish and Moorish populations prior to
this, there are a lot of hidden Jews and Moors, so the inquisitors
tend to be looking for them the most, and may not recognize symbols of
some other religions.
Spain is not technically at war with anybody, other than the Aztecs,
but that doesn't help if you're caught by Spanish ships, umm, pretty
much anywhere. (I was going to say in Spanish waters, but it also
applies in French waters, Phoenecian waters, and anywhere else they
can catch you.)
All Spanish ships have inquisitors on board, and they can override the
captain in regards to actions taken with prisoners. Or even whether
or not to take prisoners. If the other ship has been using magic, or
is obviously Norse, then the answer's generally "no".
Note that if you don't try to run away, heave to immediately, allow
the inquisitors full access to the ship, allow them to purge the crew
of Jews, Moors, Sorcerers, Elves..., allow them to take a proper
payment to the Church, and swear, each and every one, that you're
proper followers of the Risen Christos, then they'll not do anything
bad to you (which you would otherwise deserve), and they'll let you go
on your way.
The Spanish have lately been insisting that the French turn over their
refugee Jews and Moors to Spain, and that France should turn more to
the Risen Christos and start... encouraging others to convert from
heathen religions to the approved one. This puts a hair up the nose
of the French, who don't appreciate being told what to do. Unknown to
the French, the Inquisition has started sending assassins out to get
rid of more prominent refugees, and get rid of apostate priests,
refugee or not, in France.
Spain has plans for England. There's demons all over the place,
especially in Eire and Wales, and far too many followers of heathen
religions. Much simpler to just go in and clean the place out, then
populate it with properly respectful, religious Spanish peasants.
England will have to wait, though, until Spain finishes dealing with
all those demon-worshippers in the New World.
Other races:
Halflings are regarded with suspicion. Sure, they profess to follow
the Risen Christos, but they're far too... happy and polite. How can
they be happy, when there's so many people not following the right
religion in the world?
Dwarves are properly dour, but... they drink too much, they are far
too greedy (everybody *knows* that dwarves covet gold), and they've
refused entirely reasonable requests that inquisitors have the right
to enter dwarven mines looking for Jews and Moors. Further, their
very appearance, stunted, ugly, and hairy, shows that God, if not
turning his face from them, certainly doesn't view them with approval.
And sure, they *say* they follow the Risen Christos, but how can you
be sure, when they refuse to allow inquisitors into their mines?
Elves are obviously demonic, and are killed immediately.
Gnomes do magic, magic is Evil, so they've got a choice. Renounce
magic and have their eyes and hands removed, or die. As they are
steeped in sin, gnomes so far have always died. But, they're always
given a choice.
Orcs, as they are obviously nonhuman, are equally obviously demonic,
and are killed immediately.
Classes:
Barbarians, as long as they visibly follow the Risen Christos, are
acceptable. And as long as they follow the instructions of any
inquisitor in the area.
Bards are Rogues. See Rogues for details.
Clerics, if they follow the Risen Christos, are fine. Until they cast
any spell over L2, at which point they're apostate. If they follow
anybody else, then their gear is confiscated and they can either
convert or die.
Druids, if recognized, are obviously in league with demons. Bye-bye.
Fighters are fine, as per barbarians.
Monks aren't seen around very often. As long as they show proper
respect and obedience to the inquisitors, they'll do alright. Until
the inquisitors realize that they're followers of other gods, anyway.
Paladins, as they are obviously unholy warriors serving demonic
forces, are killed in battle. No Paladin has ever been taken alive.
Rangers do fine, until they're spotted casting any spells at all.
Fighters don't cast spells. If a fighter casts spells, then obviously
he's been making deals with demons and devils...
Rogues get a hand removed the first time they're caught stealing.
Second time, they go to the fire.
Sorcerers, as demonic blood is obviously in their ancestry, die.
Wizards, if not Elven, get the Gnomish choice.
Blackguards, if they show the symbol of the Risen Christos, are
accepted as holy warriors... until they cast a spell that's higher
than L2, at which point it's suddenly realized that they have been
faking it, are really apostate, and get what apostates deserve.
Spain is not a happy place.